How To Avoid Fur Coats

A quarter-inch of light, inexpensive insulating material sandwiched between two layers of cloth is far warmer than the hair of any animal. However, it will do you no good to point this out to your wife.

Every Woman Wants a Fur Coat

She will believe that a fur coat will bring her happiness. This is not true. Start her out with a rabbit skin and she will be unhappy until she has a muskrat. Get her a musk-rat and she won't rest until she has a beaver. Buy the beaver and she will yearn for a mink. This goes on through mutation minks, sables, ermines, and so on. Spend twenty thousand for a silver blue mink and she will spot one that is bluer.

However, it will do you no good to point this out, either. Nor will it help to itemize the initial cost, the tax, and the considerable operating expenses in the form of insurance, summer storage, glazing, repairs, and the like. She will believe you are thinking of yourself.

The Sable or Nothing Device

Always remember that nothing is too good for your wife. Make it clear that you want to buy her a fur coat—but only the best fur coat.
"Davie, I was just thinking. It's beginning to get cold now and, well, I just happened to walk by the fur—"
"Did you?"
(Rush in quickly. To delay at this stage may bring disaster.)
"Reminds me that Joe's wife dropped by the office today. Had on one of those, uh, rat skin coats."
"You mean muskrat, Davie? That's just what I—"
"Some kind of rat. Meant to look like mink. Ha, imagine wearing a fake mink! Not for my girl!' "But David, all I've got is this old tweed!"
"It's a real tweed, though, baby! Know what I want for you, Phoeb? Sable. Sable or nothing, baby."
"But you've been saying that for six years!"
"And I still mean it! Nothing's too good for you, Phoeb!"

The Allergy

One of the miracles of modern medicine is the fact that we now have a number of interesting diseases that our forefathers were not even aware of. In fact, we are discovering new and fascinating illnesses almost as fast as we learn to cure the old ones. Some of the most intriguing of all the new discoveries are the allergies, among them the fur allergy.

Develop one of these quickly, for it will be effective only if begun early. Suppose, for example, that your wife buys a dress or cloth coat with a bit of fur on the collar.
"Davie, how do you like the new—"
"Aaaaaah-choooo!"
"Well, God bless you!"
"Aaaaa-chooo! Go away, Phoeb, go away with that awful—aaaaah-chooo!—fur collar! I can't be within— aaaaaah-chooo!—ten feet of any kind of—aaaaaah-choooo!—fur!"
She will return the offending garment and select only cloth coats. Get her a good one.

Our Little Four-Footed Friends

Most women, bless them, are tender-hearted. Given the right facts, their impulses are often fine and generous.
"Davie, isn't it time we talked some more about a fur—"


"That reminds me, Phoeb. Had an interesting talk with a fur man today, down at the office."
"Oh, Davie, you're sweet!"
"He was explaining to me why some pelts have a sorta gnawed look in the comer. Little devils try to chew off their own feet. You know, the one that's caught in the trap."
"Oh, David, stop!"
"Probably doesn't hurt 'em too much. Only stay in the traps a couple of days."
"How cruel!"
"Can't blame the trappers, really. It's the women who buy the fur coats. Glad you're so sensible about that, Phoeb."

BE PROUD OF YOUR WIFE

But remember, do not be stingy. If your wife wants to buy a good, durable dress with lasting classical lines, let her do so. The ragged, threadbare wife is evidence of a selfish husband.
Be generous with your praise, too. If she has run up a trim house dress out of the old bedroom curtains, appreciate it. Women thrive on appreciation. Before you know it you will have a wife who is smart, well-dressed, and self-assured. She will be a good investment.



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